Update!!

Hey everyone!! sorry it's been so long since I've blogged. Life has been pretty crazy! So here’s an update about me!


Work:
 In May I stared a second job so I work about 59 hours for a week then it goes to 67 hours! work = no life! I really enjoy helping people it makes me feel like I've accomplished something in life helping others who need help.

My Mental Health:

So three years ago I was diagnosed by my family doctor that I was bipolar. so I was put on medication to help manage it but the thing is I didn't really feel like they were doing much for me. I had a few medication changes but still nothing I still had all these things going through my mind and nothing help at all. I was stuck in my head and nothing helped. Well a few weeks ago I finally gave in and went to a phycologist. Best thing I've ever done for my mental health! Turns out I'm not Bipolar at all. I have Borderline Personality Disorder also know as BPD. lots family doctors don't know anything about mental health in my opinion. I probably was only diagnosed with bipolar because it ran in my family and they do have a few similarities. So some of you may be asking what is BPD? It is a mental disorder characterized by unstable moods, behavior, and relationships. I know this sounds scary. The things is the first day I was diagnosed with BPD I was like ok I don’t have bipolar and as I read on what BPD it became scary for me. Most people who have it cannot maintain a relationship. They usually don’t even get married or have kids. That was the hard part for me, I want to have a family and pretty much being told you’re probably not going to have one because you have a disorder is hard. Some of you might be wondering how you get BPD. Not everyone gets BPD the same way but I probably got it from having a traumatic experiences in my childhood, and I've had a few of those. If you know someone who has BPD , you Have BPD or just want to learn more about it here are a few books about BPD.

1. Borderline Personality Disorder for Dummies
2. I Hate you - Don't leave me by Jerold J. Kreisman, MD, and Hal Straus 
3. Stop walking on eggshells by Paul T. Mason, MS and Randi 

I just want to thank all of my supporters such as my momma, my siblings and epically Jer who have been helping me transition with new medication changes putting up with my crazy moods! I know I've been a big pain lately and I'm trying my best to accept my new diagnoses. I will be doing a therapy to learn how to cope living with BPD soon and I hope this will really help make things easier on all of us.

Summer: 

Can you believe it's august already!! I Can't! We so far this summer I have been working but I did go camping for one night lol. I did also go to Idaho Falls for the 4th of July! Most amazing fireworks I had ever seen. I've saw my nieces and nephews, but my favorite thing so far I think was seeing my sister from California. in the next week im excited for the fair!!

Friendships: 

I have had some great times with some people this past summer and some not so great times with people. I have really enjoyed getting to know Jer a lot. He has been a great supporter for me and knows how to distract me when I am having BPD moments. He has caught on when I'm having them and distracts me with games on our phones! Thank you so much for helping! You don't realize how much it helps me. He is great at putting a smile on my face when im down and handles my ups and downs.

Sorry for the long post. if you have any questions about anything please feel free to comment and I will answer to the best of my ability.

-Candice L Helms

qoute of the week

Quote of the week

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Craziness

Life has been kind of crazy lately. The past few days I have had a episode. It hasn't been very fun. I have no motivation. I don't want to do anything but lay in my bed and sleep the day away. Unfortunately I don't get to do that I have to work and do other things. Having this struggle is hard. I don't wish this upon anyone to have to live with this everyday. Having a voice tell you you're not worth it, not smart enough, pretty enough, not good enough for anything. I am someone who makes mistakes and I hate that I listen to that voice and not myself, I would be in  better place. I wouldn't be going though what I am going through at the moment if I did listen to people who know what they are talking about. Just listen to people that love you they know things even if you don't think that they do.

Quote of the week late :(

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